A memoir of grief & healing

Letters To

TOMMI

Letters to Tommi is a journal of love and grief, written from the heart to a heart no longer here. Through each letter you will come to know Ryan and Tommi, what they shared, and the depth of a love that simply refused to stop.

Ryan Tate

THE PERSON BEHIND THE LETTERS

A Man Who Chose to
Write Through the Pain

Ryan Tate is a British writer who lost his fiancé, Tommi, to a sudden cardiac arrest in 2025. What began as a therapist’s suggestion became something far more powerful. Ryan discovered that writing could hold what spoken words could not. These letters were never intended to be a book. They became one because grief, when this honest, belongs to more than one person. Ryan writes without performance or pretence, sharing his story so that others walking in the dark might find something in these pages that quietly feels like light.

“I write because I cannot put him down and do not want to.”

— Ryan Tate

The Deeply personal letters

Letters To

TOMMI

Some loves do not end. They change where they live, quiet and faithful, written in grief’s hand.

Themes

Theme one

Grief

Grief here is not a stage or a timeline. It moves in quietly and stays, shapeless, loyal, and deeply present.

"Love that has nowhere left to land."

Theme two

Love

These letters show that a real connection does not end with a body. Ryan and Tommi keep talking across the silence.

"I am still choosing you. Especially now."

Theme three

Memory

Ryan catalogs Tommi’s quirks and laughter, terrified of forgetting. Memory becomes the act of refusing to let someone disappear entirely.

"Frightened I might already be forgetting you."

bLOGS

Ordinary Love

The deepest love in this book lives in the smallest moments. Tangled legs on a sofa. A pillow on a plane. A key turning in the door late Sunday night.
From the Author letter.

Hidden Notes

Tucked into pockets and wallets, Tommi’s small blue notes in Finnish keep appearing long after he is gone. Each one is a quiet gift, a reminder that love hides well.
Love Note letter.

Quiet Courage

Ryan does not grieve loudly. He gets up, changes the bed, waters the plants. This book understands that surviving the hardest days is quietly its own quiet form of courage.
Books & Sundays

An Excerpt from the Manuscript

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Ryan Tate

Ryan Tate writes about love, loss, and the courage between them.

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